


Dance of Infinite Possibilities

by AmerValk



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Ballroom Dancing, Campaign 2 (Critical Role), Critical Role Spoilers, Fluff and Angst, Gen, M/M, Mutual Pining, Shyness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-23
Updated: 2021-02-23
Packaged: 2021-03-14 07:06:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,723
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29663568
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmerValk/pseuds/AmerValk
Summary: On the eve of battle with Lucien and the Tomb Takers, Caleb Widogast and Essek Thelyss enjoy a private moment on the 9th floor of Widogasts Nascent-Nein-Sided Tower beneath the light of Luxon.
Relationships: Essek Thelyss/Caleb Widogast
Comments: 10
Kudos: 86





	Dance of Infinite Possibilities

It looked as if Essek Thelyss, Shadowhand and Exile of the Kryn Dynasty was attempting to memorize the intricate wood grain of the table. In truth, he was attempting to contain the wonder and curiosity he felt at Widogast’s Nascent-Nein-Sided Tower. It was a marvel made by a man who could be considered both a rival and partner. He wanted to ask him a thousand questions about the more intricate arcane nature of the extra-dimensional space. However, a dark cloud ingested his thoughts as he recalled how easily they shared magical theory before the negotiations, and the disastrous events that followed. He frowned, knowing that he would likely never share the confidence of a mage he admired so deeply again. All these thoughts swirled in his mind as he examined the fluffy waffle that sat on his plate, drenched in syrup and butter.

Jester watched him almost manically as he did not eat his breakfast, “It’s not poisoned, you know…” She said, scoffing at his hesitancy. Her gaze was piercing but kind as she watched him with keen eyes. Somehow, her voice had a way to cut Essek to his core. While the rest of the Mighty Nein looked at him with inscrutable doubt, her gaze was vivid and happy. Despite himself he smiled.

He bit the inside of his cheek out of sheer nerves as he answered her, “I am aware, I suppose I am just not used to such luxury in Eiselcross.” Essek answered her succinctly. His entire being was guarded by a polite courtesy, much like the rest of his demeanor. He was congenial and impersonal to the point of aloofness.

Jester nodded along with him, seeming to hear through his polite deferrals and understood the exact meaning of his words, “Caleb’s tower is so amazing! Don’t you think? You should ask him about it. I’m sure he would love to tell you all about that magical stuff...like when we were in Xhorhas.” Essek nearly dropped his fork at her astute suggestion. He watched as Caleb’s face seemed to go pale at the idea. He had expected that reaction, and ignored the stab of pain he felt at his pallid mistrust. 

He coughed and tried to cover it with a soft chuckle, “I would not wish to impose on Caleb’s time. I am sure there will be more time...after…” The word after weighed ominously upon all of them. Lucian was a great danger they all faced now, the concept of after was a dream. Even beyond the threat of the Tomb Takers, Essek feared the shadows of his past would find him. The word, 'time', lingered in his mind like a curse.

The brief, hidden glance he snuck at Caleb only confirmed his fears. “You know, there probably isn’t going to be an after,” Jester reflected. “I mean we could all die today even.” Essek would never grow accustomed to her candor. She seemed to embody a light in her presence that peeled away the darkness even when she spoke so indiscriminately about death. “Have you ever danced, Essek?” she asked suddenly. 

He held his mouth agape in response, “Err, not as such. I have been too diligent in my studies I’m afraid.” Essek answered her with a statement that should have ended the inquiry. He held back a blush at her words, both curious and dreading her dangerous insight

Jester actually gasped and her voice trembled with joy, “You should ask Caleb to dance. He is such a good dancer.” She suggested it as easily as breathing. How could she be so bold and disarming? Furthermore, the vivid nothing that lingered on Caleb’s expression was anxiety itself and as disheartening as the long silence that followed. 

Veth sensed the tension and was more than happy to add her own absurdity to the mixture, “Oh! Caleb is too busy and important for dancing. Besides, I think ice skating is more romantic.” She commented with a viciously mocking tone. If Essek had wished to disappear before, he now tried to find an excuse to leave the dining room. His mind raced with reasons. His mind was as treacherous with the possibilities that infected his consciousness. Maybe once Caleb would have done such a thing with him, but that time was past.

Essek stood abruptly, forgetting his manners, “I…” he proclaimed haltingly, “I thank you for your hospitality, all of you, but I should go. We have matters to prepare before we investigate Aeor.” He somehow controlled the shaking in his hands as he offered a prompt bow and floated toward the entrance. Curiously, a cat mewed at him as he moved toward the entrance of the tower. The cold air was bracing as both doors swung open of their own accord, but at least he could breathe. 

He prepared to face the bitter cold of Eiselcross, and enjoyed the sudden quiet in his mind. He loved his only friends, yet they drove him to the point of madness. Dancing with Caleb Widogast of all people. The human he had fallen for was the person he hurt the most. His betrayal was unpardonable. A rough hand roused him from his internal conflict. Essek felt the instinct to push it away, but did not act upon the impulse. “You don’t need to run from us,” the gently grizzled words came from Caleb himself. He did not remove his hand. 

Wearily Essek turned to face his worst fears. Caleb’s impassive face revealed nothing, but a compassion burnt in his eyes like embers of a lost passion. “I am not used to this ‘good natured ribbing’ as Beau calls it,” he explained, his entire bearing was laden with a guilty apology. He felt so small in Caleb’s presence. “I am sorry for any inconvenience,” he attempted to explain, knowing that the Zemnian wizard would never want him as he desired. 

Caleb’s lips curved into a bitter smile. It looked somewhat uncanny on his serious features. The lines of his face did not express happiness naturally. Slowly, Essek felt himself calm down. The warmth in Caleb’s eyes swallowed his fears as he felt the ground become level once more. “Let me show you something,” he stated. The hand left Essek’s shoulder, and tilted towards the dark elf in a peace offering. Essek merely nodded and accepted his hand before they rose through the tower. He attempted to memorize each detail before they arrived at a dark, star-laden sky.

He followed Caleb, as he led him to an illusion of the luxon. The beacon seemed to wrap time and space around Essek as he found himself overwhelmed by the sensation. Distant points of stars seemed to twinkle beyond an endless horizon. “Do you wish to dance, Shadowhand Essek?” Caleb asked gently. He had not yet released his hand. “Down there, and beyond this tower we are tethered to reality, but here we have infinite possibilities.” Words caught on Essek’s tongue and he struggled to find how to respond. 

He bit his lip, drawing closer to Caleb, “Have you forgiven me so easily?” Essek confessed his deepest fear, and most devout hope. At this, Caleb said nothing and cast his eyes to the side, away from him. Essek sighed, expecting this subtle rejection. 

Before he could act on the thought to draw his hand out of Caleb’s grasp, the wizard spoke up. “If we cannot trust one another now, there is no point,” he said simply. Essek’s heart pounded in his chest as he felt Caleb’s other hand settle on his waist. With courage, or at least a semblance of it, he nodded emphatically, trying to hide the desperation, or how much he needed this.

A drifting waltz played along the motes of possibilities and interconnected fates. Essek marveled as Caleb danced with an uncommon grace. He seemed less serious here, as they moved together among the stars. Even though he did not recognize the tune it did not matter. The weight of his affection was crushing as the song scrawled along, lilting in a tender ballad. When Caleb turned him, Essek nearly floated away before the taller wizard pulled him back into his embrace. After a few moments, the music carried them both away as they moved among the stars themselves.

The tempo began slow and nearly pedantic. Each step was weighed with precise intent. Once Essek allowed himself to relax, he found Caleb to be an easy and admirable partner. When the pace suddenly began to quicken, Essek’s pulse raced and he found himself subject to Caleb’s commanding charm. While the gentle sway remained, he found himself lost in the infinite possibility of the illusion that surrounded them. Finally, as the music faded, Caleb’s movement slowed until all that was left was the silence around them. 

Essek’s cheeks were flushed in a deep crimson as he gazed up at Caleb, who was incandescent beneath the light of the Luxon. “You are a very good dancer,” he offered as a sincere compliment. Essek was not entirely certain what to say now. Caleb seemed a little more solemn, the light hearted joy leaving his features. However, not all hope was lost as a blush painted his pale face.

He separated from Essek and stated, “You are not so bad yourself.” He glanced away, at the shifting stars and threads of fate and then back at the dark elf. “What we have shared,” he said deliberately. He held the smaller elf’s attention, and his hand, which he tenderly cradled. “It is eternal. Powerful mages do not have many friends, but I do count you as one of mine. Together we could achieve the impossible.” He urged him and placed a lingering, gentle kiss on his fingers. 

Essek was frozen in place as Caleb confided in him. Entirely robbed of speech, he only focused on the soft pressure of his lips upon his hand. Sheepishly, Caleb grinned and pulled his hand away. Instinctively, Essek placed his hands at his side, beneath his mantle. “Thank you for showing me this. What you have created is a wonder,” he offered weakly, knowing he wanted to say more but the words evaded him. Silently, Caleb nodded and offered a meager grin. He kept his eyes forward and focused on the infinite possibility of the luxon, and whatever fate offered them next.

**Author's Note:**

> This was a one shot for Shadowgast Week 2021. I was deeply inspired by Caleb's dance with Jester early on in campaign 2 and I really want to see a moment like that with Essek. I still hold out hope that Shadowgast may come to pass. 
> 
> Critical Role is out of my usual fandoms that I write for, I just wanted to put up an offering for my favorite pairing. Enjoy my offering, comments and kudos are always appreciated. :)


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